English Professionals Sexy SMS

Nursing School

A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does during an orgasm. "Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids..." 

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Doctors Office

There was a girl that came into the doctors office. Then awed by her beauty all his professionalism goes right out the window. He tells her to take her pants off , then he starts to rub her thighs, he asked her "Do you know what I am doing?" She replied "Yes your checking for abnorbilities." Then he tell her to take of her bra and shirt and he rubs her boobs and asks her "Do you know what I am doing?" She says yes checking for cancer. Then he takes off her panties and starts having sex with her . Then he asks "Do you know what i am doing?" She said "Yep getting HIV that's why I came here. 

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Who Enjoys Sex More

 A man and a woman were having drinks at a business conference when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this: when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better: your ear or your finger?" 

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Nude Beach

 Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says..."Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got !" 

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Car Salesmen

 Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, this economy sucks. If I don’t sell more cars this month, I’m going to lose my fucking ass!" Too late, he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language. "That’s okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem. If I don’t sell more ass this month, I’m going to lose my fucking car!" 

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Railroad

 A man is telling his friend of a recent experience: "I was walking along beside the railway line" he says, "When I saw this girl tied to the tracks. Well, naturally I freed her, pulled her off the tracks and ended up having sex with her all night." "Did you get a blow job?" asks his friend. "No!" he says, "I never did find the head." 
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Salesman
 A salesman go out of town for business. After a couple of weeks he comes home and tells his wife about it. "Guess what dear, I earned 4000 dollars by selling 50 mattresses and 30 pairs of panties." The wife replies "Really, well with just one mattress and no panties I earned twice as much."