Gandi Poetry

Gandi Shayari

Ungli kar kar k pani dia nikal

Boli wo tarap k jaldi se daal

Josh-e-shevat me lore ko rakha choot pe

Dono haath jama diye JÄÅÑI us k doodh pe

Zabt ki achanak asha toot gyi

Or us k sath hi 1 or chud gyi

Baad-e-chudai humne kia aaram

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Gandi Soch

Hont jab hont say milay tu kia hota hay?

Socho

Socho na

han han aur socho..

itni gandi soch..

Moo band hota hay aur kia hota hai.

………………………………….

Gandi Poetry

Bakri Ki Jaan Talwar K Neeche,
Larki Ki Jaan Shalwar K Neeche
Jo Chali Jae, Mat Bhago Us K Peeche
Pyar Karo Bas Usi Se
Jo Shalwar Kare Khushi Se neche.

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Funny Dirty Shayari

Muddat Se thi uski Lenay Ki Aas

Deedar-e-Choot Ko Dil Main Daba Diya

Kisi Ne Di Khabar Us K Chudnay Ki Raat Ko

Itni Lagai Muth K Topa Suja diya!

…………………………………….

Shayari by Sardar

Shayari by Sardar-
‘Ek ladki ko dekha to aisa laga,
dusri ladki ko dekha to vaisa laga,
par dono ne thappad mara to ek jaisa laga.
*EnjoY*

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Zong Girl Numbers

Kon kehta hy bachion k number nai milty
FARAZ

Zong tu ishteharo mei number baant rha hy. ->

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Lage Raho Raat Bhar

Lo ji
Kesa Zamana Äa gaya hay

Had kar di
“Jazz”
walon ne..
Poster per LARKI ki TASVEER bana k kehte hain
“Lagey raho
Raat bhar”

Or wo bhi sirf 5 rupey mai..

…………………….

Chaand Raat Ko

Ab tu har bars,chand raat ko main chand ko dheekta hoo aur yeh guman karta hoo k shayad ab ki bar chand
raat main tum b chalay aao,aur chpkay say meri aankhon par haath rakh ker keh do

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Gandi Shayari

Ungli kar kar k pani dia nikal

Boli wo tarap k jaldi se daal

Josh-e-shevat me lore ko rakha choot pe

Dono haath jama diye JÄÅÑI us k doodh pe

Zabt ki achanak asha toot gyi

Or us k sath hi 1 or chud gyi

Baad-e-chudai humne kia aaram

Urdu Sex joke

Harami Friend

Pain of missing a harami friend is realized when u r alone watching a gang of sexy girls & u don’t have anybody by your side to say:

“Bhenchod Mammay Dekh”

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Tharki

Larkon ko lrkiyon
Kay bary bary pasand hoty hain,
Larkiyan jab chalti hen to un k hilte huye bauhat pyare lagty hen,

Kya?

.

.

Socho?

.

.

Nahi pata?

.

.

Un k pyary pyary bary bary

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Baal.
Tu Mummay smjha na?
saale tharki..

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DON

Larki Bachay Sy:
Apni luli Nikalo..

BACHA: OK..

LARKI: Ye Kya Aap Ki luli To Pakri He Nahi Jati..

BACHA:
“DON KO PAKARNA MUSHKIL HE NAHI BAL K NAMUMKIN HE.

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No Balance!

Ek larki ko peche se kisi ne ungli di aur chup gaya
peche ek 65 sala baba ta.
LARKI:baba g miscal ap ne ki?
Baba shalwar kol k bola mera to balanc hi khatam hai

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Lun Ke Sath!

A vilage lady 2Doctor:Mje kuch dino k liye Bacha nahi chaiye.
Dr:To yh lo CONDOM.
Vilage lady:ye pani k sath laina hay ya dodh k sth.

Dr:”Lun”k sath

……………………………………………………..

Payment Done!

1 Larki bina sex kiye sardar se paise le k bhag gayi sardar ne akhbar mein add dia
“1 Larki
Qad 5 ft
Rung Gora
Nam Geta
Jise mile Chod dae,payment ho chuki he”

…………………………………………

Khawb Tha

SUHAG RAAT

3:17am: Start kiss

3:21-open Nighty

3:24-Open Brazr

3:27-Open panty

3:31-Press Boobs

3:39am: ?

?

“EHTILAM”

KHUWAB THA (tharkiyo)

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Judge to Punjabi

Badsha ne punjabi ko sza-e mot sunayi or 1 murghi de kr kaha tm isay jse maro ge me tum ko wse hi marunga

.

.

punjbi ne murghi ki gardan apni gand me le k dabadi

…………………………………..

Botel

1 Sardar Ne USA K Bar Me Lady Ka Putla Dekha, Jis K Munh Me Paise Daalne Aur Mummay Dabane Se Uski Phudi Se Botal Nikal Aati Thi.

Ghar Aa K Usne BV K Mouh Me Peaise Daal K Zor Se Mummay Daba Diye.
BV Ka Peeshab nikal gaya.

Sardar:
Teri Bhen Nu Lun,
Bhen Chod,
Botal Ander He Tor Ditti.

……………………………….

Pathan Hoga?

Suhaag Raat Biwi ki soch . . !!

~ Agr wo oopar oopar kry ga to Anjaan ho ga

~ Agar wo Andar kry ga to Mehrbaan ho ga

~ Agr wo 2sri baar kry ga to Jawan ho ga

~ Agr 3sri baar kry ga to Tufaan ho ga

~ Agr 4thi baar kry ga to Nuksaan ho ga

Aur

.

~ Agr Peechay sy kry ga to Pathan ho ga,

…………………………………

No Smoking!

1 Larkay ka LUND chota or patla tha
Wo apni lover ko andheray main le gaya
or us k haath main pakrha diya

Lover boli.

Sorry Janu main cigrate nahi peeti.

………………………………

Patient to Doctor

1 Doctor
Ne mreez baba k 2 teeke lgaey or teesra ek dosre mreez k lye tyar krne lga,
Baba smja ye b mare lye hai!

Baba dr se: putar bond paili wari vaikhi A?

…………………

Doodh

Dulhan: Kamry may aty hi Brazer utarny lagi.

Dulha: Ye kia kar rahi ho?

Dulhan: Maa nay kaha tha Dulha jesy hi kamry may ay sab se pehle dudh pilana..

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English Sex Joke

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.

 As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps

 into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into

 her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your

 heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She

 replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get

you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"

 responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating

 something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let >> >

 me give you a 7th on the house." "No offence, sir. But if 6

 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

…………………………………………………………………

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be

 seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange

 brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about

 sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies,

 "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics.

 It identifies that American Indians have the longest

 average penis and Polish men have the biggest average

 diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"

 He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you.

……………………………………………………..

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently

 taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.

 The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a

 gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay

 fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to

 sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his

 wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have

 a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

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Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there

 for a number of years when he came home one day to confess

 to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an

 urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife

 suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about

 it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He

 vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few

 weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife

 could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

 "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I

 told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis

 into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I

 did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No,

 Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

 "Oh...she got fired too."

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A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been

in a coma for several years. On this visit he decides to

 rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On

 doing this she lets out a sigh. The man runs out and

 tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests

 he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is

 any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and

 this brings a moan. From this, the doctor suggests that

 the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait

 outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man

 to be embarrassed. The man goes in then comes out about

 five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor

 his wife is dead. The doctor asks what happened to which

 the man replies: "She choked."

…………………………………………………..

A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he

 notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big

 black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7

 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch tomato, 3 pound left ball, 3

 pound right ball, Turner Brown" The small white guy faints!!

 The big black dude picks up the small white guy and

 brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks

 the small white guy. "What's wrong?". The small white guy

 says; "Excuse me but what did you say?". The big black dude

 looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch tomato,

 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner

 Brown." The small white guy says, "Thank god, I thought you

 said 'Turn around. '"

……………………………………………………………………….

 There was this couple who had been married for 50 years.

 They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when

 the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey,

 we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah," she replied,

 "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this

 breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "We

 were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years

 ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should

 we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and

 sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old

 lady breathlessly replied,"My nipples are as hot for you

 today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be

 surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and

 the other is in your oatmeal||||||

English Professionals Sexy SMS

Nursing School

A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does during an orgasm. "Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids..." 

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Doctors Office

There was a girl that came into the doctors office. Then awed by her beauty all his professionalism goes right out the window. He tells her to take her pants off , then he starts to rub her thighs, he asked her "Do you know what I am doing?" She replied "Yes your checking for abnorbilities." Then he tell her to take of her bra and shirt and he rubs her boobs and asks her "Do you know what I am doing?" She says yes checking for cancer. Then he takes off her panties and starts having sex with her . Then he asks "Do you know what i am doing?" She said "Yep getting HIV that's why I came here. 

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Who Enjoys Sex More

 A man and a woman were having drinks at a business conference when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this: when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better: your ear or your finger?" 

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Nude Beach

 Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says..."Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got !" 

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Car Salesmen

 Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, this economy sucks. If I don’t sell more cars this month, I’m going to lose my fucking ass!" Too late, he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language. "That’s okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem. If I don’t sell more ass this month, I’m going to lose my fucking car!" 

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Railroad

 A man is telling his friend of a recent experience: "I was walking along beside the railway line" he says, "When I saw this girl tied to the tracks. Well, naturally I freed her, pulled her off the tracks and ended up having sex with her all night." "Did you get a blow job?" asks his friend. "No!" he says, "I never did find the head." 
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Salesman
 A salesman go out of town for business. After a couple of weeks he comes home and tells his wife about it. "Guess what dear, I earned 4000 dollars by selling 50 mattresses and 30 pairs of panties." The wife replies "Really, well with just one mattress and no panties I earned twice as much." 

English Sexy SMS

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop" 

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Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent.... Wedding cake. 

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Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long." Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it." 

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Q: Why do men like big tits and a tight ass? A: Because they’ve got big mouths and little dicks. 

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Boy sees his mom and dad having sex! Dad says "were making you a brother" Boy replies " do her doggy style I rather have a puppy". 

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A boy goes to a strip club. His MOM gets angry : Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? BOY: Yes, I saw dad! 

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Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

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 Q: Whats a condom and a coffin got in common? A: They both hold stiffs but one is cumin and one is going!

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Q: When is a man most intelligent, before, after or during sex? A: During sex cuz he's plugged up to the knowledge source=:)

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Q: Why do women like to have sex with the lights off? A: They can't stand to see a man have a good time! 

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Sex is like math. Add a bed, Subtract the clothes, Divide the legs, and pray you don’t Multiply!

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Sex is like a misdameanor, the more I miss it, da meaner I get

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Q: How do you know if you have a high sperm count ? A: If she has to chew before she can swallow.

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 Q: Two potatos are standing on a corner, how can you tell which one is a prostitute? A: The one that says IDAHO!

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Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in! 

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 A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?" 

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Q: How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? A: Call her and tell her.

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Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle? A: Because his wife died!

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Q: Three words to ruin a man's ego...? A: "Is it in?"

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 Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? A: Liquor in the front and poker in the back!

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 Q: What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? A: I want you inside me!

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Girl: "Hey, what's up?" Boy: "If I tell you, will you sit on it?" 

Sexy Funny Picture